Title: Blood & Milk
Author: N.R. Walker
Genre: M/M Romance
Release Date: June 23, 2016
Rate : 5 ++ Stars
It’s more than just a cultural exchange.
It’s about trust and acceptance, finding yourself, and a true sense of purpose, and allowing your heart to love again.
Heath Crowley is an Australian man, born with two different coloured eyes and the gift—or curse—of having premonition dreams. He also has nothing left to live for. Twelve months after having his life upended, his dreams tell him where he needs to be. So with nothing―and no one―to keep him in Sydney, he simply boards a plane for Tanzania. Not caring if he lives or dies, Heath walks into a tribe of Maasai and asks to stay. Granted permission, he leaves behind the name and heartbreak of Heath and starts over with the new Maasai name of Alé.
From the day of his birth, Damu has always been an outcast. The son of the chief and brother to the great warrior leader, Damu is reminded constantly that he’s not good enough to be considered a man in the eyes of his people. Ordered to take responsibility for Alé, Damu shares with him the ways of the Maasai, just as Alé shares with Damu the world outside the acacia thorn fence. But it’s more than just a cultural exchange. It’s about trust and acceptance, finding themselves, and a true sense of purpose.
Under the African sky on the plains of the Serengeti, Heath finds more than just a reason to live. He finds a man like no other, and a reason to love.
PROLOGUE
It was twelve months on. A full year had passed, yet my world had stopped completely. The men who stole my life were charged and would serve time for their crime. No one called it a hate crime, but that’s what it was. If I was expecting some sort of finality to come with the court findings, I didn’t get it.
I was still hollow. I was still numb to the world, and I was still alone.
I was also awarded damages, civilian victim and medical.
A nice healthy sum that meant I could pay off my debts after not working for twelve months, and more. Though no amount of money would make this right. No amount of money would bring him back.
My mother came along for the final hearing, though I could only guess why. I had barely spoken two words to her in the last year. Maybe she came so she could vie for the sympathy card with her friends. Or maybe she thought she could have one last twist of the knife…
“Now it’s all over,” she said, nodding her head like her words were wise and final. “You can put all this homosexual nonsense behind you.”
I looked at my mother and smiled. I fucking smiled. I raged inside with a fury to burn the world, and maybe she saw something in my eyes―maybe it was a ferocity she’d never seen before, maybe it was madness―and my words were whisper quiet.
“You are a despicable, bitter human being, and you are a disgrace to mothers everywhere. So, when you go to your church group, instead of praying for my soul, you should be praying for yours. You have only hate and judgement in your heart, and you are doomed to an eternity in hell.” I leaned in close and sneered at her. “And I hope you fucking burn.” I stood up and stared down at her. She was pale and shocked, and I did not care. “If you think my words are cold and cruel,” I added, “I want you to know I learned them from you.”
I walked away, for the final time. I knew I’d never see her again, and I had made my peace with that.
I didn’t care for the money. I didn’t care for anything. I longed for sleep, because in my dreams, I saw him. And that night, almost one year to the day since he was gone, in our too-big bed, in our too-quiet flat, in my too-alone life, I dreamed of Jarrod.
He sat on our bed and grinned. I longed to hear his voice, just once. It’d been a year and I craved the sound of his voice, his touch. But when I reached out for him, even in my dream, as in my waking nightmares, he was gone. I sat up in our bed, reaching out for nothing but air. He was gone, really gone.
But in this dream, on the bed where he’d sat, was a plane ticket. Mr. Heath Crowley, it said. One way ticket to Tanzania.
Everything was normal. Until it wasn’t. Nothing was normal again after that day. Not one thing. Not me, not my life, not the stars or the moon. Not the air I breathed, not how people looked at me. Nothing.
I wanted to feel… something.
Anything Alive, mostly.
I wanted to feel alive...
What more worse than a feeling that you look alive from outside, but the truth is...you're practically 'dead' inside?
Memories are the cruelest thing that ripped Heath life over and over again.
After the traumatic tragedy that ripped Heath life into pieces and numbed him for months. Heath felt there's nothing left in his life that can make him stay for much longer in Sidney.
Lead by the dreams that had been 'haunted' his nights for months and not caring if he lives or dies - Heath then decided to leave all his life behind and follow his dreams...
Fate then bring him meet Damu...
And....then, this beautiful-heart-warming-story begin....
Damu was calm and peace. He was the place my soul had longed for, had been homesick for, where I was centred and everything in my world wasn’t broken anymore...
***
I've been 'early warned' before that this story will be very different and definitely was not 'my thing'. And to be honest, I usually 'avoiding' reading this kind of book.
So, when I offer myself to help the author for beta reading the book for "sensitive matters", I - practically - pushed myself out my comfort zone and took all risk with what will happen next by reading the book.
Why?
Because I know anything that come from N.R. Walker will be something!
So, here I am now...
From the very first time I read the prologue, I knew that this book gonna be the heartbreaking one.
But then I found that the story totally BEAUTIFUL in all its simplicity.
I don't know what 'jinx' the author put when she wrote the story. But as soon as I 'meet' Damu, I'm in love with Damu character instantly.
Each time he smile or laugh, I got that 'butterfly in my tummy' feels and it warmed my heart.
I cried so many times while reading this book.
I cried for Heath for what he'd been through, for each dreams he had...and what he'd done for Damu.
I cried for Damu each time he felt 'worthless' or not 'man enough'.
I cried for every simple but heart warming things that happened in this story.
The way Heath and Damu 'see' the world through all the simplicity gave me some peace...
This story way more deeper that what I thought...
The author portraits Maasai people & their culture perfectly.
Through her writing, I can 'feel' like I was 'there', at the Serengeti the whole reading and 'see' all the beauty of the land through Damu & Ale's eyes and feels their growing emotions for each other.
I 'saw' what Heath 'see' in Damu, how beautiful this man is, and finally understand why Damu become Heath's 'sunshine' to his dark world.
Damu not only healed Heath's wounds, but he also make him feel 'alive' again...
Thank you for writing Damu & Ale story. It's so beautiful, N.R. Walker.
Glad you - finally!! - decided to publish this story.
Blood & Milk is one of the most beautiful-heartbreaking story I've read this year about finding a happiness in all simple things and the journey to find another love lead by dreams... .
Damu & Ale story definitely will stay forever in my heart...
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ARC is kindly provided by the Author in exchange of a fair and honest review.
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GOODREADS
N.R. Walker is an Australian author, who loves her genre of gay romance.
She loves writing and spends far too much time doing it, but wouldn’t have it any other way.
She is many things: a mother, a wife, a sister, a writer. She has pretty, pretty boys who live in her head, who don’t let her sleep at night unless she gives them life with words.
She likes it when they do dirty, dirty things… but likes it even more when they fall in love.
She used to think having people in her head talking to her was weird, until one day she happened across other writers who told her it was normal.
She’s been writing ever since…
