ARC REVIEW : Over and Over Again by Cole McCade

Title : Over and Over Again
Author : Cole McCade
Genre(s) : Contemporary gay romance, May-December, age gap
Publication Date : July 23rd 2018
My Rating : 4/5 Stars
Buy links : Amazon

A ring of braided grass. A promise. Ten years of separation.

And memories of an innocent love with the power to last through time.

When Luca Ward was five years old, he swore he would love Imre Claybourne forever. Years later, that promise holds true—and when Luca finds himself shipped off to Imre’s North Yorkshire goat farm in disgrace, long-buried feelings flare back to life when he finds, in Imre, the same patiently stoic gentle giant he’d loved as a boy. The lines around Imre’s eyes may be deeper, the once-black night of his hair silvered to steel and stone…but he’s still the same slow-moving mountain of a man whose quiet-spoken warmth, gentle hands, and deep ties to his Roma heritage have always, to Luca, meant home.

The problem?

Imre is more than twice Luca’s age.

And Luca’s father’s best friend.

Yet if Imre is everything Luca remembered, for Imre this hot-eyed, fey young man is nothing of the boy he knew. Gone is the child, replaced by a vivid man whose fettered spirit is spinning, searching for north, his heart a thing of wild sweet pure emotion that draws Imre into the compelling fire of Luca’s frustrated passions. That fragile heart means everything to Imre—and he’ll do anything to protect it.

Even if it means distancing himself, when the years between them are a chasm Imre doesn’t know how to cross.

But can he resist the allure in cat-green eyes when Luca places his trembling heart in Imre’s hands…and begs for his love, over and over again?

“Immie?” 

“What is it, angyalka?” 

“I’m going to marry you one day...” 

The book come with a lots of warning from the author, yet it intriguing me even more. And with all those warning, I thought the story will be a bit dark, angsty and heartbreaking, but I was completely wrong! Because the story surprisingly feels very sweet and so touching.

The pace was maddening slow and with almost 8000 loc on Kindle? I must admit that it’s kinda frightened me at the beginning. But as soon as I start it, the story consume me so deep and it hard for me to put it down.

I have this constant ache in my heart for both Imre and Luca almost the entire reading. I know…I completely understand on what and why also the ‘situations’ that they must faced. With almost twenty six years gap there’s also a lot of issues that come between them. There’s no easy way to deal with all of that obstacles without trying to understand each other needs and feelings before they can finally ease away what their afraid of.

Luca with his young and rebel heart trying to find what he actually want in his life. His constant conflicts with his dad had made him become spiteful young man and a bit bratty. His dad then decided to send him to spent the winter at Imre's farm and stay away from troubles. And when Luca see Imre for the first time after ten years, he realized that years of separation doesn’t change his feeling to him. Imre still stole his breath away like he used to feels years ago. And being with Imre made Luca feels like home…

Imre just trying to be logic and act like an adult in this whole awkward situation. He’s trying to understand Luca and help him finding his way to what he really want in life. There’s a lot of change in Luca that broke his heart, there’s no smile he used to see brightening Luca’s face. His angel has completely changed. Time and life had took away the cheerfulness from his face and Imre really miss Luca’s laugh like he used to hear back then.

What’s Imre wants is to protect his angel from being hurt by trying to put the line between them mostly because his past relation with Luca’s father. And Imre stubbornness had put both of them in misery, and hurt Luca’s heart deeply in the process...

I got several teary eyes while I’m reading this story. It sad seeing they must hold each other feels due too the situation. Each time Imre said ‘don’t’ or ‘I can’t' or when Luca said ‘I understand’ its squeeze my heart and really really hurts…

The 20 years plus age gap and the fact that Luca’s father and Imre are best friend and Luca actually had ‘declare’ his feeling since he was five years old had made the story become a bit creepy also interesting at the same time, but the author already gave the warning at the beginning, so again I completely understand and try to see things through Luca and Imre's eyes. And I can see things differently and clearly how their love growing and consume each other to the level ‘I couldn’t breathe’…and that’s what make the story feels so beautiful in it’s own way.

I must admit that the author has the talent to toying with readers feeling through his writing. The ups and down also the push and pull between them had squeeze my heart and all written in beautiful and poetic words. The author made us feels all the love through each word he use and drown the reader deeply to the story.

This is my second book from this author, but I’m completely sure that it’s won’t be the last book that I read from him. Cole McCade definitely had become my new favorite author now.

Recommended!

REVIEW : Blank Canvas (Paint #2) by Emma Jaye

Title : Blank Canvas by Emma Jaye
Part of series : Paint book 2
Genre(s) : Contemporary gay romance with angst, age gap
Publication Date : October 1st 2016
My Rating(s) : 4/5 Stars

Chris Bacon is dead. Long live Chrisander Baccioni?

Unable to walk or talk coherently after a hit and run attack, Chris finds himself on the other side of the world with Jase firmly in babysitting mode. Pity and betrayal, even if it was for ‘his own good’ wasn’t something Chris tolerated from anyone, least of all from an ex-lover who was hanging around only out of a misguided sense of duty.

The barely breathing battered boy was all Kathleen had to wipe away her daughter’s shame and continue the Baccioni dynasty. Despite Chrisander’s unfortunate childhood, her grandson was young enough to mould into a god-fearing family man. Surely only an idiot would reject a life of respect and luxury with a beautiful, intelligent woman by his side, for a grubby little flat and a dirt poor, ex-army sergeant.

The story start right after the incident that happen at the end of book one when Chris suffering from serious physical injuries from the mysterious hit and run that almost cost his life.

Things then get a bit more complicated when at the same time Chris’s rich grandmother from US came and want to take her only grandchild back to US with her.

What will happen then with Jase and Chris relationship when his bigot grandma who come from strict Catholic family seems won’t approved their relationship?

Will Chris leave Jase after he taste the luxuries his grandma trying to offer him?

I love how the author pulled us – the readers to the complexity of the story. I didn’t expected this second book to be as intense as the first one. From a homeless guy to a heir of the rich Italian family from US? Man! I really didn’t see it coming!

At this second book, both Jase and Chris still have to deal with almost the same struggles that happen on the previous story, like Chris’s trust issues. But what made the reading become so frustrating is….the overgrown miscommunication between Chris and Jase that nearly touch the annoying level and almost cost their already fragile relationship. But strangely…I can still understand why all those things happened between them even still….that not stop me from rolling my eyes so many times!

For those who have issues with cheating, considered I’ve warned you that there IS cheating here mainly caused by misunderstanding and also tricked by super manipulative antagonist characters in this book.

Like what I said on the previous book, the warning still continues, you still NEED a lot of patience to enjoying this book, because Chris Beacon still a hard and difficult character to understand, but that’s what makes the story very intriguing to follow.

One thing that kinda disappointed me a bit is how the author ‘executed’ Chris problem with his grandmother. I mean after all those tensions that build from the very beginning? I didn’t expect they ‘solved’ it just like that!

But overall, this second book still a bit dark and very intriguing just like the previous book.

And now, I really can’t wait for Nate and Alex's story because this Nate guy had stole my curiosity since the first time he appeared as a paramedic who took care Chris’s drugs withdrawal. His strong, passionate and mysterious appearance had grew curiosity in me.

Maybe if we’re lucky enough, we can get Russell and Adam's story in the future too eh? The bulky club owner and the blind dancer? Interesting....

Review : As I Am by Melissa Collins

Title : As I Am by Melissa Collins
Genre(s) : Contemporary gay romance, LGBTQ+
Publication Date : April 23rd 2018
My Rating(s) : 3/5 Stars

Chase Hansen. Broke. College drop out. Male stripper.

My life wasn't at all what I imagined it would be. I should have been finishing up college, interning with a well-respected business, partying with my friends. But instead, I was raising my seventeen year old brother, struggling to make ends meet. Love wasn't even on my radar. Besides, what did I have to offer? A few crumpled singles pulled from my G-string? Defeated and exhausted, I knew I had zero chance of finding someone to love me just as I am.

Noah Carpenter. Angry. Betrayed. Doctor.

Just when I thought my life was going exactly as it should, everything turned upside down. With my final rotation in medical school complete, I finally achieved my lifelong dream of becoming a doctor. What I never expected was to catch the man of my dreams in our bed with the man of his. Beyond infuriated, I struggled to piece together the remnants of my life. Just when I'd decided to give up on love altogether, I found a man who loved me just as I am.

Well, here's another example for not trusting the Five Stars review. Even when I wrote a five stars review I never asked people to believe it too. Only trust your feeling before choosing a new book to read and never put the expectations too high if you don't wanna ended with huge disappointed.

The blurb gave me the strong impression that the story will gonna be something, add the gorgeous cover to it and I decided to devour this book right away.
I've seen another author promoting this book massively and that made me itch to read some review that almost all give the book good praise with 5 glistening stars.

But my eyes then stumbled to the 1 and 2 stars review that caught my curiosity. Hmm, interesting…

FYI, I’m not that typical reader who read reviews before starting a new book, I mostly choose a book first – by its cover and then the blurb. And if that two makes me curious enough, I usually read it and not even care about what others said in their review. And if I’m in the mood read the review, I will automatically search and interested in what the lowest rating reviewers said about the book, because they usually not biased and said the truth.

Well, according to the blurb, this book actually come with an interesting premise. A male striper and a doctor ? My brain automatically scream with full anticipation and I was so excited to read it. I must admit that I do like some part of this book. I can feel the chemistry between the two MC very well, the plot was quite good and the writing was fine. There are some scenes that almost brought tears to my eyes and I have sympathy for what had happened to both Chase and Noah and their struggles to move on from the tragedy that happened in their life. All that happened between the MCs and the ups and downs in their relationship has huge potential to grabbed my soft heart IF it not constantly ‘interrupted’ by immature behavior from both MC that sometimes made me rolling my eyes so many times. I need to convinced myself over and over again that both MC ages was mature enough for their age. But at some points, I finally can’t stand anymore because it’s far too annoying for me.

I feel kinda disappointed that this story has to ended far from what I’ve expected. Even the sweet things Noah did to Chase’s brother, Benny was not enough to lift up my mood...

So I think 3 stars is fair enough for me, because even it ended not as what I expected but still there’s some part that I love from this book.

REVIEW : Optical Illusion (Paint #1) by Emma Jaye

Title : Optical Illusion by Emma Jaye
Part of series : Paint book #1
Genre(s) : Contemporary gay romance with angst, age gap
Publication Date : September 1st 2016
My Rating(s) : 4.5/5 Stars

Smile, wiggle, lie, apologise, and run for the hills.

That's the formula Chris has used all his life, but this time, he has something he’s never had to lose before, a family that cares. The problem is, his new brother’s very edible friend isn’t fooled by his act. If his secrets are revealed, they won’t want him and he has nowhere else to go.

Thanks to a suicide bomber, ex-military police sergeant Jase Rosewood is back in the English countryside. His plans for quiet recuperation are ruined by the effervescent, go-go dancing twink who has everyone wrapped around his little finger. Luckily for the gullible Matt, Jase can smell a liar a mile away, and Chris Bacon, if that’s even his name, stinks to high heaven. Assigned ‘Chris-sitting’ duty while Matt's on honeymoon, Jase has a week to discover what is hidden beneath the bright camouflage. It's a job, just like any other, so why does it feel so different?
Unfortunately, Jase isn’t the only one drawn to the boy who can’t stay still, but instead of wanting to reveal his true colours; they want to dull them forever.

Contains issues of physical abuse, but not between the central couple.

...even if you irritate the hell out of me ninety-nine percent of the time. You intrigue me and I’d like to explore that further...

I didn’t know about this book or the author IF I didn’t accidentally saw the arc/ebook offer from the publisher at one of the MM group I’ve been following.
The blurb grabbed my attention instantly and made me curious. Intriguing by the possibility of the good premises shown on the blurb, I decided to give this book a try….

Jase and Matt are inseparable best friend since childhood. And for years, Jase has secretly in love with Matt, but unfortunately Matt is straight. On the last day on their senior year, Jase brave himself to finally let Matt know about his feeling to him. When things didn’t went well and almost ruined their friendship, Jase then decided to join the military following his father path. Their friendship still lasting for decade, but the things between them had completely changed.

After almost lost his life on the suicide bomb incident, Jase finally leave the military life and back to his hometown and attending Matt wedding as his best man while recovering himself from the injury.

Jase know for sure that there’s nothing left between him and Matt except for the friendship, but seeing the man he’d once loved marrying a woman was not that easy, because he can’t denied that the memories was still remains. But then he met this beautiful young man at the wedding that caught his full attention…
And his heart start to beat again…

What he didn’t expected is…that the beautiful young man turned out to be Matt’s half brother…

When Matt leave for honeymoon and want Jase to ‘keep an eye' to his brother and do some digging about his past, things start to get ‘complicated’…

And this…is what made the next whole reading become a very INTERESTING read!

Because Chris definitely is a trouble maker. And it needs a lot of patience to keep him out from troubles and to understand him completely. But the more Jase know about Chris’s past life and the WHY, it made him want to protect Chris and keep him safe even more…

But with Chris’s past, trust issues and ADHD, it’s definitely not an easy things to do. And trying not to include his feeling toward Chris is an impossible either…because Jase completely knew that Chris already owned his heart since the day he saw him for the first time...

Like I’ve said before, this is my first Emma Jaye's book and I didn’t expect to like this story this much!

The pace is a bit slow and with the complex plot I must admit that not everyone will enjoying the reading  like I do. But like Jase who needs a lot of patience to understand Chris’s minds and needs, it needs A LOT of patience to read this book especially with the complexity that happen in the story and the long starting range that start with Jase and Matt story before it finally entered into the ‘main’ story between Jase and Chris. But if you have little bit MORE patience, I can assure you that the story really worth your time and enjoyable enough to read.

I started this book with scepticisms, but at the end I'm falling deeply in love with both Chris and Jase characters with all their baggage. I have this constant urge to hugs Chris almost the entire reading and have fully respect to Jase for what he'd done to Chris, to always be at Chris's side and to understand him completely...

The first book ended with cliffy end that will grow your curiosity, but thanks god I read this book when the second book had finally out, so I can jumped to the next book without need to do the hysterical scream like what others reader must faced when they read this series long time ago. Because if not I will pulling my own hair waiting for what happen next!

See ya in the next book review!